Man expects girlfriend of 2 years to subsidize his children's grocery costs: ‘[He] has not been buying groceries for his kids with his own funds’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Nov 28, 2025 1:00 PM EST

When did grocery prices get so darn high?! Who cares—the point is, they're expensive now. Even still, it's essential to shop for healthy foods our children can enjoy and ensure they're not putting bad stuff into their bodies every day.

As you enter a new relationship, especially dating as an adult, you want to make clear pretty early on what you expect your partner to do for your children (if any). There might be some confusion about whether your partner is partially financially responsible for your child, even though they are not their biological parent. Early in a relationship, this is usually not what happens. The woman in this next story made it pretty clear that she would not provide for her partner's kids, but he had other plans for her money.

The two share an account where they each deposit a fixed amount of funds each month. So, once their respective funds enter the account, it's for both of them. You'd think, however, that this means either partner would give the other a heads-up about how funds are being spent (and if it's okay to use them for whatever reason). The woman finds out that her partner has been dipping into their joint account to buy groceries for his kids without asking for her permission to do so. Scroll to read.

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  • 01
    man pushing a shopping cart through a grocery store
    via Onur Burak Akın For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    "AITA for not wanting to pay for groceries for my boyfriend’s two kids?"

    My boyfriend (41M) and I (37F) have been together almost 2 years and decided to move in together 6 months ago.
    via hkallet
  • 03
    He has two children (18F and 13M) who he has with him 1-3 days a week.
    via hkallet
  • 04
    I own a home and prior to my boyfriend moving in, we talked about the extra household chores that would accrue due to more people in the house, and he assured me that he would help with more around the house so it wouldn't fall on me.
    via hkallet
  • 05
    He also assured me that he would take care of the extra groceries and the cost of other outings that we would do with his kids.
    via hkallet
  • 06
    I keep a fairly detailed budget of my weekly, monthly and annual spending. I sat down with my boyfriend before he moved in and reviewed everything with him.
    via hkallet
  • 07
    For more background, I have no student loans, no car payment, no other debts and live well within my means.
    via hkallet
  • 08
    My boyfriend has two children and a car payment, and being tight on money is a concern of his.
    via hkallet
  • 09
    We both make approximately the same, and in the last 2 years he has earned more raises/bonuses than me.
    via hkallet
  • 10
    Right now, we have our own personal checking/savings accounts, and we have one shared joint account where we deposit a fixed amount (50/50) each month.
    via hkallet
  • 11
    a person holding a smart phone in their hand that details their personal bank account balance
    via Behnam Norouzi For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    This joint account is for the mortgage, property/school taxes, home insurance, utilities and groceries. For the past 2 months, our joint account has been getting. low on funds and I noticed my boyfriend has not been buying groceries for his kids with his own funds.
    via hkallet
  • 13
    My boyfriend recently approached me about revisiting how we split the finances. He didn't go into much detail because I told him we should set aside a specific time to talk about it thoroughly.
    via hkallet
  • 14
    But basically, he feels that since he has less expendable income due to his kids and other bills that the finances should be split differently.
    via hkallet
  • 15
    Two questions: 1. AITA about not buying groceries for the kids? 2. AITA for wanting to split household finances 50/50?
    via hkallet
  • 16
    Hamachiman NTA. Be careful about paying mortgage out of joint account. I've had lawyers tell me that someone could potentially make a claim to owning part of your home if they help pay for it.
    via Hamachiman
  • 17
    East Committee_8527 Absolutely please consult an attorney who specializes in real estate law. Paying from a joint account sounds financial dangerous. It would be better to have a rental agreement especially since you are not married
    via East_Committee_8527
  • 18
    Superb-Skin8839 You would do well to not mix your money with someone you're not married to. A joint bank account with a boyfriend seems crazy to me. Also, you're not the asshole. It seems like he's seeing how much extra money you have compared to him so he thinks it's fair that you contribute more... which is insane. You're not responsible for his debt or his kids. I think 50/50 is not fair. I think he should be paying more because there are three of them and one of you.
    via Superb-Skin8839
  • 19
    Individual-Foxlike NTA. You were upfront that his kids would mean extra costs for him. Remind him that this was a condition for him moving in. It's his responsibility to manage his money.
    via Individual-Foxlike
  • 20
    FunStorm6487 WTF.. His monthly bills should have gone down, by splitting costs with op... How in the world was he feeding his kids before moving in r
    via FunStorm6487
  • 21
    Garden_gnome1609 F no. What he wants is for you to subsidize his expenses that comes along with his children. honestly, if he doesn't pull his head out of his a move out. quick, ask him to
    via Garden_gnome1609

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groceries relationship advice entitlement relatable memes kids money problems reddit story entitled family reddit thread Reddit children entitled people
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